


Memories

by OkayImHere



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 07:56:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3843016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OkayImHere/pseuds/OkayImHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearl is stuck. When she seems to make progress to move on, a Gem from her past lands on Earth. Will Pearl be ready to let go, or does she just want to go back?<br/>(Rose used to be a diamond and Pearl was like a lady in waiting head canon)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this is like the second fanfic I wrote in my entire life (the first being a Benvolio/Tybalt fanfic freshman year with a friend as like a joke)  
> I haven't written fiction in a long time  
> I dont own anything

Pearl walks down a large hallway, with sweeping pillars and lights shining. One side of the hall opens to the sky and city below, the other paintings of antiquity, showing historic Gems and battles in mural form. Pearl's arm is wrapped around the arm of her companion, a fellow confidant with green skin and hair wavy down to her shoulders. Both hold each other close as they walk down the hall, whispering in each other's ear and covering their mouths as they let out little giggles.

"Apparently, Rose and I are to go to a planet at the edge of the quadrant," Pearl whispers in her ear, " We're to build and maintain a kindergarten there with Blue."

"Green and I are going to scout for more planets worthy of colonization or more kindergartens. I am not excited for the expedition to be honest with you."

"But you're so good with local flora, Emerald! And traveling the cosmos is so exciting," Pearl responds.

Emerald lets out a light laugh and sighs.

"It seems it will be an eternity before we will experience each other's presence again," Pearl continues, a sad look shared between them.

"But imagine how sweet the reunion will be."

\------------------------------------------------------

 

"Pearl!"

Pearl is pulled out of her memory by a cry of her name.

"Pearl!"

"Oh, what is it, Steven?" She looks down to her right at the boy who sits on the floor next to the coffee table, his eyes a little dimmer. Garnet, next to her, leans back into the couch, moving her arm to rest behind it and losing contact with Pearl. Amethyst puffs air up, blowing her hair a little out of her face. This isn't the first time Pearl has done this.

"It's your turn, Pearl," Steven says, although in a friendly manner, there's still a hint of disappointment at her inattentiveness.

"Oh, of course," Pearl leans forward to complete her turn, only to move two spaces towards Candyland. She leans back into the couch and gives a look of apology towards Garnet. Garnet, still unreadable after all their time together, especially after Rose's passing, remains stoic. Pearl blushes in shame and looks down.

"Yes! Candyland!" Steven shouts, both Gems not paying attention realize the game is now over. Without a word, Pearl stands up away from Garnet and begins to put the game away. Garnet's eyes follow her, the rest of her unmoving. Amethyst knows what this means and steps up to put Steven to bed; she and Steven joke about the possibilities of a real Candyland when climbing up the stairs.

Pearl finishes putting the game away and starts to head toward the door of the temple, but abruptly stops, an alarming look on her face and her body tensing up with an inhale. She turns on her heel and walks outside. As she exits and the door closes, Garnet finally moves to stand with slow and powerful movements. She walks toward the door, making eye contact with Amethyst to say she's leaving, and exits. Steven doesn't notice.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Garnet doesn't find her until she's next to the lighthouse looking down at the temple. Pearl is sitting on one of the temple's hands, the one with the clothes lines, all empty from the laundry being collected that afternoon. Garnet heads toward the hand and Pearl doesn't notice. Pearl is crying, looking towards the stars.

"It's just a game, Pearl" Garnet says in her monotonous tone.

This startles Pearl who jumps up to stand and shouts, "Oh, Garnet! You surprised me!" Her arms flail and quickly begin to try to wipe away the evidence of her tears. She then stops and keeps her arms at her sides. She looks down and her cheeks burn blue with embarrassment. Looking away and clenching and releasing her hands she asks," What are you doing here? Oh, it's late, we need to put Steven to bed."

Pearl begins to try and walk down, but Garnet stands in her way, both hands holding on to Pearls shoulders. "Amethyst got it."

"Oh my, Amethyst," Pearl is now more urgent on getting down, but Garnet's hold on her is strong and she pushes her down until they're both sitting next to each other.

"You need to tell me, Pearl."

"Tell you about what?"

Garnet knows how Pearl always steals glances at Rose's picture when she walks past. Garnet knows how she looks at Steven with a sad regret on her face when she thinks no one is watching. Garnet knows how she looks at the stars with longing, and how that longing almost got herself and Steven killed. And Garnet knows that ever since Jasper and Peridot's attack on Earth, Pearl has been spacing out more and more and going out to cry more and more.

The silence is thick in the air. Pearl's face tints blue as her hands reach up to grab Garnet's and she begins to hold both their hands in her lap. Her eye contact with Garnet's visor is brief, for Pearl can't bear to look at the crying reflection of her at the moment.

"I'm sorry, Garnet. You wouldn't understand," Pearl continues to look down as she moves to stand and tries to walk away.

Garnet holds on to her like an anchor holds a ship, "We're still here, Pearl. Amethyst and Steven are here.... I'm here."

Pearl takes a sharp intake of breath and yanks her hands from Garnet, who lets go. Pearl's hands clench into fists then move to hide her face as she turns her back to Garnet. She walks to the other end of the hand with a frown on her face and bites her lip. She folds her arms around her.

Garnet follows and starts to reach for her shoulder when her hand is smacked away.

"It's not just Rose, Garnet. I told you..... You wouldn't.... You just can't get it."

"Let me try," Garnet reaches for her again, but Pearl backs out of reach.

"Please," pleads Pearl, " I just need to be alone right now."

Garnet pulls her hand back and nods. Pearl looks away from her, unable to look at her without guilt filling her gut. Garnet is still for a brief moment before leaving to return to the temple.

The lights are off when Garnet walks through the door, the only sounds being Steven's sleepy breaths from his room or the occasional snore from Amethyst on the couch. Garnet looks in both their directions then turns to face the picture of Rose hanging on the wall. Garnet may have been her right hand, her best lieutenant; but Pearl was Rose's confidant, even before the war. Of course there would be things she wouldn't know of their relationship, but that didn't mean she couldn't understand them.

Garnet, frustrated, retreats to her domain in the heart of the temple. She conjures up a punching bag, but not her gauntlets. She wants to feel the anger going through her into her punches. The skin on her knuckles break, then heal, then break again. She lets out a roar that resonates throughout the temple. This routine continues until Garnet, sweaty and exhausted, collapses. She stares at the ceiling until it's time for Steven to wake up.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Pearl is cooking Amethyst and Steven breakfast when Garnet walks in. Pearl is smiling at something Steven had said until she looks up at Garnet. She quickly looks down, giving the eggs she's making her undivided attention.

"Ooh, Amethyst! Today there's gonna be a dance-off at the boardwalk!" Steven shouts with glee.

Amethyst glances at Pearl and Garnet, the tension between them too thick to endure for an entire day agrees to Steven's invitation to leave the house. "I guess that does beat my plans for a Little Butler marathon."

Pearl, with clenched teeth and a stiff posture, gently sets the two plates of food in front of Steven and Amethyst. "Do you want anything, Garnet?"

Garnet doesn't respond to this question, frustration from the night before permeates into this morning. She simply gets up and walks around the counter and begins to make herself coffee.

"Well, Steven, I hope you have fun at that ..."

"Drivin' Divin' Dance Off!" Steven finishes for Pearl.

Pearl gives a breathy laugh, "Yes. And Amethyst..."

"Ya, Birdy?"

Pearl frowns at the nickname, but continues, "Take care of Steven."

"No, duh," Amethyst responds as she inhales her food. Pearl gives a look of disgust to this display, then begins to clear the kitchen of pans and dishes by putting them in the sink.

Garnet having finished making her coffee, starts to drink it and remains in the kitchen only moving to lean on the counter. Pearl continues in her efforts to clean the remnants of breakfast, but does a careful dance to avoid contact with Garnet. This is unnoticeable to Steven, but a fireworks display for Amethyst.

"Alright, Steven, let's go," Amethyst pulls Steven off his chair by his shirt as he gives her a look of betrayal.

"But, Amethyst, I didn't get to finish my eggs!"

"We'll just get some donuts," Amethyst compromises. This immediately changes Steven's initial attitude towards leaving and now he leads the way.

With the absence of the two, silence fills the house and the air begins to feel heavy and hard to breathe.

Pearl holds on to the sides of the sink. Her knuckles turn white. Garnet leans back on the counter, sipping on her coffee.

"You're angry with me," Pearl does not accuse Garnet, she speaks as if she were talking about the weather.

Garnet responds with another sip of her coffee.

Pearl lets out a sigh and looks towards the ceiling. She looks down at the pile of dishes and pans in the sink and starts to speak, "I'm sorry. For anything I did to hurt you last night, I'm sorry... But I.... I just can't deal with you when you get like this!" Pearl throws her hands up in the air and turns to leave. Garnet grabs her hand and stops her.

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have assumed how you felt and I shouldn't hold a grudge against you for not telling me some of these things."

Pearl looks down, blue painting her face again. She goes and wraps her arms around Garnet's neck and leans into her. Garnet reciprocates the touch and her arms wrap around Pearl, her chin resting on Pearl's head.

"I'm just not ready yet, Garnet. It wouldn't be fair to you."

"I know. I guess Ruby gets a little impatient sometimes."

Pearl laughs at this comment and slaps at Garnet's shoulder. They both let go and Pearl continues to clean the kitchen as Garnet helps her.

"It comes in waves," Pearl says, " this feeling. I know it's wrong, but sometimes I miss the Homeworld, what life use to be. But then I remember it all, and then I'm glad we're here. That Amethyst is here. Steven is here....  You're here.

"The life Rose and I had before all this is difficult to describe, Garnet. Not many Gems shared the experiences we had, and it seems wrong, taboo even, to try to explain them to an outsider. Oh, that's a terrible way to put it, but that's the only word I can think of.

"I just... It'll take time, Garnet, before I'm ready for anything. Like when I needed time to understand if a fusion could feel that way or not."

"It's alright," Garnet gives one of her rare and coveted smiles. Pearl smiles back and they both hold each other's hands for a while.

"Why don't we go see that dance-off?" Garnet offers. Pearl nods her head in agreement.


End file.
